As Shiny as a Rusty Penny

Hot: OSU beats Mizzou….and rhymes too

Even though their mascot looks more like a garden gnome than a cowboy, Oklahoma State proved Saturday that they aren’t the only OSU who is upset-worthy. The Cowboy defense picked three of Mizzou’s glorified Chase Daniel’s passes….the third on Mizzou’s final drive toward a win. Now the Cowboys are 6-0. Six and oh, six and oh, six and O-S-U!!! 

Not: Boise State….ESPN too

You know I love BSU more than…well pretty much everything…and I think Kellen Moore is great, but the majority of their performance against Southern Miss was pathetic. Bronco defense, you are excused from this reprimand. As usual, you came through when you needed to and kept BSU from even getting close to the BIG L, despite the rest of the offense’s poor performance. Oh…take the running backs, Austin Pettis, and Jeremy Childs with you. ESPN reporters, you can sit in the seats the defense just vacated. No, Kellen Moore actually did NOT shine in this game. There was more than one fumbled snap, a throw that was intercepted when the ball should have been thrown away, and pretty much all of his passes were low. LUCKILY Jeremy Childs is ridiculously fantastic and could make the catches, but Moore was far from accurate. Moore can’t take all the blame, though. The O line failed to make holes on many occasions, a big hold negated an exciting touchdown run, and the majority of the second half was made up of the ever-exciting 3 and out. Y’all better take your defense out for a nice dinner and thank them for keeping the perfect season alive!

Hot: Cotton Bowl

You couldn’t ask for a more exciting game. It was no BSU/OU Fiesta Bowl, but it WAS thrilling nonetheless. In the end Texas won, but both teams were hot in this game. There were only 3 total yards and 3 first downs difference between the two teams, despite the Longhorns possessing the ball for nearly a quarter longer than the Sooners. Bravo teams for backing up the Big 12′s credibility.

Not: Rotten Bowl

Okay….it’s not really a bowl….more like an arm pit….but this was too good to pass up:

 

Hot: Gatorade not Tiger Tang

Sure was fun being in the top five, eh Tigers? There’s not really much to say about this game. Florida showed up and never relented. The Gators worked tirelessly to prove to their fans, LSU, and the nation that the Ole Miss game was a fluke…..and they did. And in doing so, they handed LSU their biggest loss in 6 years. There’s not much GATOR than that!  

Not: TWO channels and still no coverage

While the thrilling Notre Dame/UNC game was shown on both ABC AND ESPN, viewers in our area saw neither. WE got to see the oh-so-boring USC/ASU game (turns out Coach Erikson isn’t getting along any better in Phoenix than he did in Moscow) and the even-more-boring-if-that’s-possible Ohio State/Purdue game (Idaho might actually be able to beat Purdue). Thanks a LOT schedulers!

Hot: Holy TOLEDO!

They may not be 1-AA like App State, but losing to Toledo is WAY worse on the LAME-O-Meter. That said, the fact that Toledo put their second W on the board this season against Mr. Cocky Pants Rodriguez is HOT indeed. Even better, Michigan had a chance to take it into overtime with what should have been a nice easy field goal. Instead, they suffered another home loss at the hands of an “inferior” opponent. Nice work, Rockets.

Not: Cuffs and Carts

While UCLA reciever, Terrence Austin, was being strapped to a board and taken from the field for a seriously cringe-worthy head injury, law enforcement and the second paramedic unit were busy elsewhere. Yes, instead of being concerned for the wellfare of this young man, some fans decided to use the break in play to start a fight. A fight that ended with one fan falling over the wall onto the field behind the UCLA bench. Like Austin, this fan was also carted away from the field and at least one other left in handcuffs. Pretty lame.

Behold the Great and Powerful Oz

Hot: David (the giant crusher) X2

Oregon State and Ole Miss did the unthinkable this week. As commentators were proudly proclaiming USC the greatest team ever, the Beavers were preparing to repeat history. Not only did the Beavers triumph over the Trojans at home two years ago, eons ago they toppled the giant when they sat at #1….just as they did Thursday night. Ole Miss, too, repeated history, now having beaten Florida 3 of the last 4 times the teams have met.  

Not: Being declared hot

Last week, I declared USC and Florida the best teams in the country and invited them to the National Championship game. My bad! These teams may yet make it to the big game, but I just made it a lot harder for them. Little did you know that I held so much power! Ignore the lady behind curtain! I’m the great and powerful Oz!

Hot: Game Changing Performance

Despite losing starting QB TJ Yates last week, North Carolina refused to roll over for Miami. On the final drive, Tar Heels 28/Miami 24, it looked certain that the Hurricanes would succesfully put the ball in the end zone and hand North Carolina another painful loss. Instead, on the final play, Robert Marve passed to Kayne Farquharson, a pass certain to clinch the win, and watched in horror as the ball slipped out of Kayne’s hands right into the hands of UNC’s Goddard. The deflated Hurricane fans watched gloomily on as victory was snatched so quickly away. 

Not: Destruction between the Hedges

Georgia’s ability to acrue penalties finally paid off….sort of. The Bulldogs, who are the most penalized team in the SEC, made mistakes at the absolute worst times throughout their home matchup with Alabama. In all, they had 10 penalties to the Crimson Tide’s 2. Despite gaining only ten less yards than Alabama, Georgia was down 31 points at the half and really didn’t have much more to give in the second. And the ever outstanding Knowshon Moreno gained a measly 37 yards. To their credit, though, the Bulldogs are taking the loss like men and remain hopeful for the rest of the season.   

Hot: Not being in the Bottom 10

After winning last week’s pillow fight against Idaho, Utah State managed to jump out of the Bottom 10! This is more rare than a jewel of the calibur of The Heart of the Ocean (think Titanic)! Always remember Aggies, this week you were better than Tennessee (who actually was in the Bottom 10). It doesn’t get much better than that! 

Not: Attacking your program

Sure the Bruins stink, but they couldn’t have felt much worse than when they discovered that the UCLA marketing department published an ad in the Fresno Bee to entice more Bulldog fans to the Rose Bowl for Saturday’s matchup. Selling tickets is cool and having a full statium is great, but selling out your own team to achieve it? That’s not so good. The ad read, “So you can say ‘I was there’,” obviously indicating that the marketing department had little, if any, faith in the Bruins. They might as well have put out an ad reading, “Our team sucks and you’re going to want to see your team prove it.” Ouch!

Hot: Super Smarties

Northwestern: 5-0; Vanderbilt: 4-0; Duke: 3-1, with its first ACC win in 26 tries. Smarties seeing success: priceless. As great as it see to see these teams off to a positive start to the season, it’s definitely NOT hot that Northwestern is not in the rankings. Give the smarties some love!

Not: Fresnobsession

Let’s recap YET AGAIN……Fresno beat a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad Rutgers team; lost to an over-rated Wisconsin AT HOME; barely beat Toledo, who is now 1-3 and lost to FIU; AND scraped by, as their own marketing department will tell you, an awful UCLA who is completely defenseless. And this deserves a ranking why? It’s getting old, voters, it really is.  

HOTerable mentions: Michigan, Houston, Navy, Maryland, Rice, Oregon, Tulsa, Penn State, Oklahoma

NOTerable mentions: Wisconsin, Purdue, Wyoming, the State of Washington, Idaho, Hawaii

Bronco Fever Strikes AGAIN!

Hot: Duck Soup

Everyone….and I mean EVERYONE said that BSU did not have a shot at winning this game. As soon as they did, I knew the Broncos would win. They’ve always done better with a chip on their shoulders! They want you to doubt them; they love it! As much as the win was well-earned, had Oregon’s THIRD STRING QB gotten a concussion a little earlier, the Broncos might not be doing the happy dance this week!

Not: Fresno’s Ranking

How exactly does a team from the WAC who beat what turns out to be an incredibly inadequate Rutgers team, lost to Wisconsin at home, and barely beat TOLEDO in DOUBLE overtime get to stay in the rankings? Seriously voters! there are undefeated teams waiting in the wings! Give up the dream! This year, like every other year, is NOT the bulldogs year to shine. Make room for someone else! 

Hot: NC State wins a legitimate game!

Just when the purple Pirates had everyone convinced that they were invincible, sad little NC State put a stop to their undefeated season. In what should have been a blowout (no offense State fans), the Wolfpack, led by amazing freshman QB Russell Wilson, dusted off their A game and showed the country that they can play ball too. Three cheers for the Wolfpack!

Not: West Virginia

Don’t get me wrong here….I have a fondness for the Mountaineers and truly wanted this to be their season, but like Fresno, it’s just not. Try as they might, they just can’t seem to get it together this season. Were it not for Pat White, they might have gone 3 and out on every possession. And there’s no Pat White on the defensive side of the ball.

Hot: B, B, BYU

Other than the close/controversial win at Washington, BYU has scored at least 40 points in each of their wins (@ Northern Iowa, UCLA, Wyoming). They’ve also held UCLA and Wyoming to the big Zilcho in their last two games. The Cougars are looking pretty unstoppable at the moment. Will Utah have enough to top them in their matchup in November?

Not: Tar Heels lose thier Achilles 

Just when Carolina had a legitimate chance at a thrilling season, their QB and leader, TJ Yates broke his ankle and will be out for the next six weeks. Along with his broken ankle came the disappointing loss against Virginia Tech and a gloomy outlook on the rest of the season. Does anyone know a good Tar Healer who can get things back on track?

Hot: USC vs. Florida: National Championship

My prediction is in. The Trojans and the Gators will face off in THE game of bowl season. USC looks to be freakishly good this season. Even Tebow’s crew looks a little small in the Trojans’ shadow. But are they really that good? Or is their competition just that bad? And is Florida really on a different level? Or has their competition been, well, worth competing against? Whichever turns out to be the case, these teams are off to great starts and will be exciting to watch in January! 

Not: Pillow Fights….or are they?

Saturday’s most-pivotal matchup HAD to be the Bottom 10′s pillow fight: Idaho versus Utah State. Two WAC bottom-feeders waiting and ready for a chance to win a conference game! Idaho may have beaten the mighty Idaho State Bengals, but they were no match for the Aggies! Utah State managed a whopping 42 points to the Vandals’ sad 17. Maybe things are looking up, eh Aggies? Going to topple the giant (BYU) next week?

HOTerable mentions: Northwestern, Missouri, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Texas, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Clemson, Minnesota, Penn State, TCU

Who’s Celebrating Now?

Hot: BYU’s Drama-free Demolition

It sure was exciting when UCLA attained a come-from-behind victory over Tennessee! UCLA’s matchup with BYU Saturday was somewhat less thrilling. Max Hall complete 7 touchdown passes to lead the Cougars to the nation’s longest win streak (at 13).  

Not: Friday Night Birthday Celebrations

Remember Friday night when Kansas traveled down to Florida to take on the Bulls? Remember how the Jayhawks dominated the first half only to face a focused, determined South Florida team who came out in the second half to claim the lead for their own? Remember how just when you thought Kansas had given up they tied things up? Yeah, me too. Only with 1:30 left in the game I had to turn off the game and go meet the friends who gathered to celebrate my birthday. So thanks to my darn birthday, I missed the Bulls’ freshmen kicker Maikon Bonani’s 47-yard field goal sail through the uprights as time expired!

Hot: Putting Them Through the Ringer

Michigan State racked up 347 yards against Florida Atlantic Saturday…..Javon Ringer is responsible for 282 of them. With the rain and muddy field, the Spartans had little choice but to stick with run. Luckily, Ringer was up for the challenge, carrying the ball 43 times in all and scoring 14 of Michigan State’s 17 points.  

Not: SMU

It’s tough for any team to keep up with Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree, but he was the least of SMU’s problems. The Mustangs had as many interceptions as Tech had touchdowns and 500 yards less total offense. Even June can’t deny the facts: “We weren’t good enough to win on the road tonight and if we play that way next week, we won’t be good enough to win at home,” he said, according to ESPN.  

Hot: …………………………..

Here is where I would have talked about how great North Carolina was in the national spotlight Thursday night. I would have talked about how this was their first out-of-state victory in five years…..about how they made Rutgers question why they like football….about how they may actually have a winning season……but a certain someone (you know who you are!) was a little too sure that I would talk up the Tar Heels this week. So instead, I’m not saying anything. So there!

Not: Pac 10

This far this season, the Pac 10 is even at 14 wins and 14 losses. However, if you take the only good teams (USC and Oregon) out, the Pac sits at 9 wins and 14 losses. And this weekend, SEVEN of the 10 teams lost: only USC, Oregon (barely), and (amazingly) Oregon State managed to win. So you’re not making much an argument for the strength of your conference Pac 10. Better step it up! The west coast is counting on you! 

Hot: Beating them with their Brains

Northwestern is off to 3-0 start to the season! Sure they’ve faced the stiff competition of Syracuse, Duke, and Southern Illinois, but 3 wins are 3 wins. In fact, they are tied for first in the Big 10 standings….along with 4 other teams. Maybe this year is the year the smarties will actually win the conference! Probably not likely, but maybe!

Not: Not Making the Highlight Reel

LAST week Georgia’s Knowshon Moreno made an Olympic-vault style leap over a defender to gain some extra yards for the Bulldogs. Too bad no one saw it. The broadcasters dropped the ball (no pun intended) and failed to include it in their highlight reels. The leap was nearly perfect, although the judges did deduct 3 tenths for face-planting the landing. But, hey! If they Chinese gymnasts can fall on their faces and medal, then we can surely celebrate the high start value of this football move! Check out the moves here: http://collegefootball.rivals.com/content.asp?SID=1144&CID=848305

Hot: Buffalo’s Big Finish

Temple fans had already changed the channel and toasted their victory when Buffalo’s Drew Willy tossed up a crazy hail mary, into the midst of more than a handful of defenders, right into the hands of Namaan Roosevelt as if the play were designed to happen that way. Turns out it was.  Buffalo makes a habit of practicing the hail mary, just in case, and it worked! Phew! 

Not: Baseball Scores

Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2…..No, not in baseball. In what must have been one of the most-boring football games of all time. In fact, (and I NEVER say this) a baseball probably would have been more interesting! Maybe if it were part of a drinking game? Like, every time Mississippi State fails to convert on 3rd or 4th down, take a shot (17 total). Or drink after every punt. Or chug a beer every time the yellow hanky hits the ground (16 in all). At least that way none of the fans would remember how lame the game really was!

America’s Next Plus-Size Running Back

Hot: Myron Pryor

ALL of Kentucky’s TDs came from turnovers Saturday against Loserville (err…Louisville), but none was more exciting then the 72-yard fumble returned for a TD by the big burly 300+ lb Myron Pryor. The only guy who even had a CHANCE to run him down was the CENTER. Never a good sign. Louisville’s performance was dismal during the good times, and even worse during the bad, which was certainly satisfying for the Kentucky fans who had to pay more than $70 a ticket to attend the game (compared to $40 for Louisville fans).

Not: ACC, Football that is…

Thank goodness for basketball, because if it were up to football results, the ACC might as well join the WAC. Wake Forest and Maryland were the ONLY ACC teams to beat 1-A….excuse me, Football Championship Division….teams. BC, Duke, Georgia Tech, Miami, and North Carolina managed to beat some less-than-highly touted 1-AA teams….Clemson, Virginia, and NC State lost to Alabama, USC, and South Carolina, badly.  And Virginia Tech, try as they did, could not stave off ECU. Attack the WAC, ACC! Attack the WAC!

Hot: Pirates of the Carolinabean

I know I wasn’t the only person to scratch my head and say “Who in blue blazes is ECU?” before the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl following the 2007 season. But people across the country are starting to take notice of the Pirates who are now on a roll after beating the world’s greatest football team (Boise State) in Hawaii and starting the season with a thrilling victory over Virginia Tech.  Only time will tell if this team is as legit as Johnny Depp’s career. Perhaps even too legit to quit!

Not: Idaho

Arizona generally goes overlooked in the football world, but leave it to Idaho to make them look like USC up against Palo Alto High School. Arizona’s 70 to 0 destruction of the Vandals was the their highest scoring game since flappers were in style! Not only that, this was Arizona’s first shutout in 12 years! And all this in the rain no less! Idaho’s Nathan Enderlie completed a miserable 10 passes. Even if counting his intercepted throws as completions, he STILL wouldn’t make it to 50%. Looks like the Vandals can look forward to a permanent spot in the Bottom 10….AGAIN!  

Hot: Florida

No, not just Tebow, not just the offense, EVERYONE got in on Florida’s scoring frenzy Saturday. The defense scored two TDs, both off interceptions…and special teams scored on a punt return. Perhaps most impressive….Florida did not score at all in the first or fourth quarters. Imagine if they’d kept things fired up for all four quarters! Hawaii on the other hand had 6 turnovers….at least one from each of their quarterbacks….Colt, oh Colt, where-fore-art-thou, oh Colt? 

Not: Oregon State’s final drive

The Beaver’s conference and season opener against Stanford was nothing if not a nail-biter. Down by 8 with two minutes left to play, it looked like the Beavers were surely going to lose. But as luck would have it, Stanford couldn’t move the ball and had to punt it away with a little over a minute and a half left. The Beav’s were ready to make the most of the opportunity. Several well-executed plays later, they found themselves at 3rd and 4 with 16 yards to the goal. Just then, Darrell Catchings made a great catch, running 15 yards toward the end zone. With 44 seconds left on the clock, and a first down secured, Catchings stretched for the end zone….lost the ball….and fumbled it right through the end zone. And in that briefest of moments, the team and fans alike fell from the thrill of victory into the misery of defeat….starting the season on a down note and having to face a 0-1 record when conference play begins.

Hot: UCLA

Despite throwing back-to-back interceptions, Kevin Craft lit things up in the second half to lead UCLA and new head coach Rick Neuheisel to an exciting overtime victory over the supposedly superior Volunteers. It couldn’t hurt that, according to Coach Fulmer, “[Tennessee] made enough mistakes to fill three of four games.”

Not: Fresno’s win over Rutgers

On their first possession, Rutgers made it within 30 yards of the goal line, but failed to score with a missed field goal. On the second, they made it to first and goal….but 4 tries later, still had no points. On the next, they only had 36 yards to drive, but threw an interception immediately. Two possessions later, they made it down to the 4 yard line, again failed to get the TD, and missed another field goal. AND SO….at halftime, the score was all tied at zero, instead of Rutgers 24, Fresno 0. Thus, after a miserable first half, Fresno was able to come out for the second half with a clean slate, and they certainly made the most of it. Thanks for nothing, Scarlet Knights.

Hot: Bowling Green

Props to Bowling Green who managed to ARM PITT with their first home loss to an MAC team in school history (24 games in all). Pitt possessed the ball seven minutes longer than BG, but that was not enough to offset their 4 turnovers. And what’s good for Bowling Green in good for BSU…until September 13, anyway.  

Not: June Jones’ Debut

Hopefully June’s big fat paycheck makes him happy cause there is no way the performance of his new team is doing anything for him. Not only did SMU fall on their face in the season opener, they did so against Rice, who hasn’t scored that many points since 1944….and now have a conference loss under their belt.  Five turnovers and seven penalties were not exactly what the lei-free Jones was hoping for.