As Shiny as a Rusty Penny

Hot: OSU beats Mizzou….and rhymes too

Even though their mascot looks more like a garden gnome than a cowboy, Oklahoma State proved Saturday that they aren’t the only OSU who is upset-worthy. The Cowboy defense picked three of Mizzou’s glorified Chase Daniel’s passes….the third on Mizzou’s final drive toward a win. Now the Cowboys are 6-0. Six and oh, six and oh, six and O-S-U!!! 

Not: Boise State….ESPN too

You know I love BSU more than…well pretty much everything…and I think Kellen Moore is great, but the majority of their performance against Southern Miss was pathetic. Bronco defense, you are excused from this reprimand. As usual, you came through when you needed to and kept BSU from even getting close to the BIG L, despite the rest of the offense’s poor performance. Oh…take the running backs, Austin Pettis, and Jeremy Childs with you. ESPN reporters, you can sit in the seats the defense just vacated. No, Kellen Moore actually did NOT shine in this game. There was more than one fumbled snap, a throw that was intercepted when the ball should have been thrown away, and pretty much all of his passes were low. LUCKILY Jeremy Childs is ridiculously fantastic and could make the catches, but Moore was far from accurate. Moore can’t take all the blame, though. The O line failed to make holes on many occasions, a big hold negated an exciting touchdown run, and the majority of the second half was made up of the ever-exciting 3 and out. Y’all better take your defense out for a nice dinner and thank them for keeping the perfect season alive!

Hot: Cotton Bowl

You couldn’t ask for a more exciting game. It was no BSU/OU Fiesta Bowl, but it WAS thrilling nonetheless. In the end Texas won, but both teams were hot in this game. There were only 3 total yards and 3 first downs difference between the two teams, despite the Longhorns possessing the ball for nearly a quarter longer than the Sooners. Bravo teams for backing up the Big 12′s credibility.

Not: Rotten Bowl

Okay….it’s not really a bowl….more like an arm pit….but this was too good to pass up:

 

Hot: Gatorade not Tiger Tang

Sure was fun being in the top five, eh Tigers? There’s not really much to say about this game. Florida showed up and never relented. The Gators worked tirelessly to prove to their fans, LSU, and the nation that the Ole Miss game was a fluke…..and they did. And in doing so, they handed LSU their biggest loss in 6 years. There’s not much GATOR than that!  

Not: TWO channels and still no coverage

While the thrilling Notre Dame/UNC game was shown on both ABC AND ESPN, viewers in our area saw neither. WE got to see the oh-so-boring USC/ASU game (turns out Coach Erikson isn’t getting along any better in Phoenix than he did in Moscow) and the even-more-boring-if-that’s-possible Ohio State/Purdue game (Idaho might actually be able to beat Purdue). Thanks a LOT schedulers!

Hot: Holy TOLEDO!

They may not be 1-AA like App State, but losing to Toledo is WAY worse on the LAME-O-Meter. That said, the fact that Toledo put their second W on the board this season against Mr. Cocky Pants Rodriguez is HOT indeed. Even better, Michigan had a chance to take it into overtime with what should have been a nice easy field goal. Instead, they suffered another home loss at the hands of an “inferior” opponent. Nice work, Rockets.

Not: Cuffs and Carts

While UCLA reciever, Terrence Austin, was being strapped to a board and taken from the field for a seriously cringe-worthy head injury, law enforcement and the second paramedic unit were busy elsewhere. Yes, instead of being concerned for the wellfare of this young man, some fans decided to use the break in play to start a fight. A fight that ended with one fan falling over the wall onto the field behind the UCLA bench. Like Austin, this fan was also carted away from the field and at least one other left in handcuffs. Pretty lame.

Maybe YOU Should be BSU too!

Hot: Fresno Proving Me RIGHT!

Another overtime game against an inferior team….only this time the Bulldogs proved that, despite my prejudice against them, I have been right all along. Fresno State was always OVER RATED!! It gets more embarrassing for Fresno when the facts are revealed: this was a home game; Hawaii has never beaten a rank team on the road; the Bulldogs turned the ball over six times; they also missed 3 field goals; Hawaii’s only win this season (until now) was against Weber State. I DO love to be right!! 

Not: The “Mighty” Ducks

Oregon was amazing on Saturday…..for like 5 minutes anyway. After that, they couldn’t have scored if the Trojans gave them the ball on the one yard line with 8 downs and benched the D line. They are THAT bad. What is Mike Bellotti thinking? Why put Masoli in at QB when he proved his inadequacy against Boise State? Despite playing nearly the same amount of time in that game, Masoli managed a measly 27 yards compared with Thomas’s 210 and 3 touchdowns. The only logical explanation is that Coach Bellotti put money on the Trojans and wanted to ensure he was gonna get paid! Holla!

Hot: Wednesday’s Winners

Go Orange! Go Big Blue! Fight! Fight! BSU! There’s really not much more to say than that. There were a few mistakes, but overall the Broncos looked great in all areas against Louisiana Tech on ESPN Wednesday night.  The Broncos continue their home turf (blue as it is) success, having only lost 1 game at home in the last five years.

Not: South Florida

The Bulls’ offense did a whole bunch of nothing in the first half of their game against Pitt. They did manage to block a punt and run it back for a score so that they were only down by 10 instead of 17 at the half. Before that score, the Bulls missed a field goal and failed to convert on a fake field goal attempt. The offense did manage to score in the second half, but not enough to overcome the Panthers. See you later, top 10.

Hot: Baller State

Ball State has made it into the Top 25 for the first time EVER! There’s something magical about being BSU…isn’t there? The Cardinals are now 6-0, and held Toledo scoreless Saturday….unlike Fresno who could barely beat them in double OT. Go FootBALL State!

Not: Freezermakers

Yeah, Purdue, you stink. Your boilers are broken. They’re making nothing but ice (and not the shiny diamond kind). It hurts me to say it. I really does. But so is life.  It’s like a box of chocolates, you know? And that’s all I have to say about that.

Hot: It will happen SOONER or later

The Sooners are only 10 points away from being the first program to reach 30,000 points scored. Unfortunately for them, Boise State plans to score that many (30k) next week. Blast those Broncos! Always trying to steal Oklahoma’s glory!  

Not: Virginia Wins

Remember when Maryland embarrassed Cal? That sure was exciting, wasn’t it? Their peformance against Virginia this weekend was just a smidge below that level. They failed to score at all and let the up-to-this-point-rather-terrible Terrapins walk all over them. They moved the ball fairly well, getting more then 300 yards of offense, but could never cash in. Better luck next week, not-so-merry land.

Behold the Great and Powerful Oz

Hot: David (the giant crusher) X2

Oregon State and Ole Miss did the unthinkable this week. As commentators were proudly proclaiming USC the greatest team ever, the Beavers were preparing to repeat history. Not only did the Beavers triumph over the Trojans at home two years ago, eons ago they toppled the giant when they sat at #1….just as they did Thursday night. Ole Miss, too, repeated history, now having beaten Florida 3 of the last 4 times the teams have met.  

Not: Being declared hot

Last week, I declared USC and Florida the best teams in the country and invited them to the National Championship game. My bad! These teams may yet make it to the big game, but I just made it a lot harder for them. Little did you know that I held so much power! Ignore the lady behind curtain! I’m the great and powerful Oz!

Hot: Game Changing Performance

Despite losing starting QB TJ Yates last week, North Carolina refused to roll over for Miami. On the final drive, Tar Heels 28/Miami 24, it looked certain that the Hurricanes would succesfully put the ball in the end zone and hand North Carolina another painful loss. Instead, on the final play, Robert Marve passed to Kayne Farquharson, a pass certain to clinch the win, and watched in horror as the ball slipped out of Kayne’s hands right into the hands of UNC’s Goddard. The deflated Hurricane fans watched gloomily on as victory was snatched so quickly away. 

Not: Destruction between the Hedges

Georgia’s ability to acrue penalties finally paid off….sort of. The Bulldogs, who are the most penalized team in the SEC, made mistakes at the absolute worst times throughout their home matchup with Alabama. In all, they had 10 penalties to the Crimson Tide’s 2. Despite gaining only ten less yards than Alabama, Georgia was down 31 points at the half and really didn’t have much more to give in the second. And the ever outstanding Knowshon Moreno gained a measly 37 yards. To their credit, though, the Bulldogs are taking the loss like men and remain hopeful for the rest of the season.   

Hot: Not being in the Bottom 10

After winning last week’s pillow fight against Idaho, Utah State managed to jump out of the Bottom 10! This is more rare than a jewel of the calibur of The Heart of the Ocean (think Titanic)! Always remember Aggies, this week you were better than Tennessee (who actually was in the Bottom 10). It doesn’t get much better than that! 

Not: Attacking your program

Sure the Bruins stink, but they couldn’t have felt much worse than when they discovered that the UCLA marketing department published an ad in the Fresno Bee to entice more Bulldog fans to the Rose Bowl for Saturday’s matchup. Selling tickets is cool and having a full statium is great, but selling out your own team to achieve it? That’s not so good. The ad read, “So you can say ‘I was there’,” obviously indicating that the marketing department had little, if any, faith in the Bruins. They might as well have put out an ad reading, “Our team sucks and you’re going to want to see your team prove it.” Ouch!

Hot: Super Smarties

Northwestern: 5-0; Vanderbilt: 4-0; Duke: 3-1, with its first ACC win in 26 tries. Smarties seeing success: priceless. As great as it see to see these teams off to a positive start to the season, it’s definitely NOT hot that Northwestern is not in the rankings. Give the smarties some love!

Not: Fresnobsession

Let’s recap YET AGAIN……Fresno beat a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad Rutgers team; lost to an over-rated Wisconsin AT HOME; barely beat Toledo, who is now 1-3 and lost to FIU; AND scraped by, as their own marketing department will tell you, an awful UCLA who is completely defenseless. And this deserves a ranking why? It’s getting old, voters, it really is.  

HOTerable mentions: Michigan, Houston, Navy, Maryland, Rice, Oregon, Tulsa, Penn State, Oklahoma

NOTerable mentions: Wisconsin, Purdue, Wyoming, the State of Washington, Idaho, Hawaii

Bronco Fever Strikes AGAIN!

Hot: Duck Soup

Everyone….and I mean EVERYONE said that BSU did not have a shot at winning this game. As soon as they did, I knew the Broncos would win. They’ve always done better with a chip on their shoulders! They want you to doubt them; they love it! As much as the win was well-earned, had Oregon’s THIRD STRING QB gotten a concussion a little earlier, the Broncos might not be doing the happy dance this week!

Not: Fresno’s Ranking

How exactly does a team from the WAC who beat what turns out to be an incredibly inadequate Rutgers team, lost to Wisconsin at home, and barely beat TOLEDO in DOUBLE overtime get to stay in the rankings? Seriously voters! there are undefeated teams waiting in the wings! Give up the dream! This year, like every other year, is NOT the bulldogs year to shine. Make room for someone else! 

Hot: NC State wins a legitimate game!

Just when the purple Pirates had everyone convinced that they were invincible, sad little NC State put a stop to their undefeated season. In what should have been a blowout (no offense State fans), the Wolfpack, led by amazing freshman QB Russell Wilson, dusted off their A game and showed the country that they can play ball too. Three cheers for the Wolfpack!

Not: West Virginia

Don’t get me wrong here….I have a fondness for the Mountaineers and truly wanted this to be their season, but like Fresno, it’s just not. Try as they might, they just can’t seem to get it together this season. Were it not for Pat White, they might have gone 3 and out on every possession. And there’s no Pat White on the defensive side of the ball.

Hot: B, B, BYU

Other than the close/controversial win at Washington, BYU has scored at least 40 points in each of their wins (@ Northern Iowa, UCLA, Wyoming). They’ve also held UCLA and Wyoming to the big Zilcho in their last two games. The Cougars are looking pretty unstoppable at the moment. Will Utah have enough to top them in their matchup in November?

Not: Tar Heels lose thier Achilles 

Just when Carolina had a legitimate chance at a thrilling season, their QB and leader, TJ Yates broke his ankle and will be out for the next six weeks. Along with his broken ankle came the disappointing loss against Virginia Tech and a gloomy outlook on the rest of the season. Does anyone know a good Tar Healer who can get things back on track?

Hot: USC vs. Florida: National Championship

My prediction is in. The Trojans and the Gators will face off in THE game of bowl season. USC looks to be freakishly good this season. Even Tebow’s crew looks a little small in the Trojans’ shadow. But are they really that good? Or is their competition just that bad? And is Florida really on a different level? Or has their competition been, well, worth competing against? Whichever turns out to be the case, these teams are off to great starts and will be exciting to watch in January! 

Not: Pillow Fights….or are they?

Saturday’s most-pivotal matchup HAD to be the Bottom 10′s pillow fight: Idaho versus Utah State. Two WAC bottom-feeders waiting and ready for a chance to win a conference game! Idaho may have beaten the mighty Idaho State Bengals, but they were no match for the Aggies! Utah State managed a whopping 42 points to the Vandals’ sad 17. Maybe things are looking up, eh Aggies? Going to topple the giant (BYU) next week?

HOTerable mentions: Northwestern, Missouri, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Texas, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Clemson, Minnesota, Penn State, TCU