W-I-N, Go for the Win!

NOT: Winners Winning

There needs to be some serious attitude adjustments this week. What happened to the little Davids believing that they could topple the giants? That happened to the cocky teams who are too good to try against pitiful opponents? Where has the upset gone?? If you winners and losers don’t get your minds right, we are in for a really boring finish to the season. What will commentators talk about? I imagine something like this: “Now to today’s college football highlights…..everyone in the top 25 won again. In other riveting news, my mother thinks I’m precious and kittens are cute…….” Do you really want to be responsible for that? Y’all better make a better effort this weekend! 

Hot: Northwestern

Every Wildcat looks forward to the Michigan game, but generally dreams of a win are just that. This weekend Northwestern likely strutted into (and out of) the Big House with the knowledge that this year they not only could, but would, realize that dream. And, while doing so, they ensured that Michigan would indeed end this season with their poorest record ever. On Senior Day no less. Nice work, Cats. High Five! 

Not: Stanford

The Cardinal started out the game with that underdog spirit fans love to see, but it fizzled out much too soon! Despite Stanford keeping the game tied up well into the third quarter, the Trojans managed to win by more than 20 points!  

Hot: Houston with a side of Rice

In a fantastic showing Saturday night, Houston racked up 70 points against Tulsa! And just when I bet that this was surely the most points Houston has ever scored, I learned that forty years ago, Houston had a 100-3 win over Tulsa, the record for most points scored by one team in a major college game. And it the win wasn’t exciting enough — Houston now shares the lead of Conference USA with Rice!

Not: LSU sans the 4th quarter

A round of applause for Troy, who came into the game with the appropriate level of “Yes WE Can”-ittude. They brought enough to make LSU fans boo and leave, and to get LSU’s quarterback benched. Unfortunately, they also gave up when they thought they had it won, leading to LSU’s biggest comeback in school history and a 30 point fourth quarter.  

Hot: Mr. Rodgers squared

Jaqcuizz and James Rodgers, in another outstanding peformance, have helped the Beavers turn a pathetic start to the season into a potential trip to the Rose Bowl. “Quiz” has had seven 100+ rushing games this season and scored 1 TD on Saturday….he’s gained more than 1000 yards and has 11 TDs on the season. James, the elder brother, has only 4 TDs on the season, but two of them came against the Bears. The Beavers definitely hit the jackpot when they recruited these two!   

Not: Idaho’s First Play

For those of you who saw the score alert showing Idaho 7, Boise State 0, know that the Vandals were the beneficiaries of a fluke. Nothing shady…just a fluke. Nathan Enderlie’s first pass was good and the reciever was immediately wrapped up by BSU’s defense. Unfortunately, the reciever came down on top of the defender, never hitting the ground, and stood back up and ran the rest of the way to the end zone. But hey, the Vanadals need SOMETHING to cheer about so I suppose all is well that ends well.

As Shiny as a Rusty Penny

Hot: OSU beats Mizzou….and rhymes too

Even though their mascot looks more like a garden gnome than a cowboy, Oklahoma State proved Saturday that they aren’t the only OSU who is upset-worthy. The Cowboy defense picked three of Mizzou’s glorified Chase Daniel’s passes….the third on Mizzou’s final drive toward a win. Now the Cowboys are 6-0. Six and oh, six and oh, six and O-S-U!!! 

Not: Boise State….ESPN too

You know I love BSU more than…well pretty much everything…and I think Kellen Moore is great, but the majority of their performance against Southern Miss was pathetic. Bronco defense, you are excused from this reprimand. As usual, you came through when you needed to and kept BSU from even getting close to the BIG L, despite the rest of the offense’s poor performance. Oh…take the running backs, Austin Pettis, and Jeremy Childs with you. ESPN reporters, you can sit in the seats the defense just vacated. No, Kellen Moore actually did NOT shine in this game. There was more than one fumbled snap, a throw that was intercepted when the ball should have been thrown away, and pretty much all of his passes were low. LUCKILY Jeremy Childs is ridiculously fantastic and could make the catches, but Moore was far from accurate. Moore can’t take all the blame, though. The O line failed to make holes on many occasions, a big hold negated an exciting touchdown run, and the majority of the second half was made up of the ever-exciting 3 and out. Y’all better take your defense out for a nice dinner and thank them for keeping the perfect season alive!

Hot: Cotton Bowl

You couldn’t ask for a more exciting game. It was no BSU/OU Fiesta Bowl, but it WAS thrilling nonetheless. In the end Texas won, but both teams were hot in this game. There were only 3 total yards and 3 first downs difference between the two teams, despite the Longhorns possessing the ball for nearly a quarter longer than the Sooners. Bravo teams for backing up the Big 12′s credibility.

Not: Rotten Bowl

Okay….it’s not really a bowl….more like an arm pit….but this was too good to pass up:

 

Hot: Gatorade not Tiger Tang

Sure was fun being in the top five, eh Tigers? There’s not really much to say about this game. Florida showed up and never relented. The Gators worked tirelessly to prove to their fans, LSU, and the nation that the Ole Miss game was a fluke…..and they did. And in doing so, they handed LSU their biggest loss in 6 years. There’s not much GATOR than that!  

Not: TWO channels and still no coverage

While the thrilling Notre Dame/UNC game was shown on both ABC AND ESPN, viewers in our area saw neither. WE got to see the oh-so-boring USC/ASU game (turns out Coach Erikson isn’t getting along any better in Phoenix than he did in Moscow) and the even-more-boring-if-that’s-possible Ohio State/Purdue game (Idaho might actually be able to beat Purdue). Thanks a LOT schedulers!

Hot: Holy TOLEDO!

They may not be 1-AA like App State, but losing to Toledo is WAY worse on the LAME-O-Meter. That said, the fact that Toledo put their second W on the board this season against Mr. Cocky Pants Rodriguez is HOT indeed. Even better, Michigan had a chance to take it into overtime with what should have been a nice easy field goal. Instead, they suffered another home loss at the hands of an “inferior” opponent. Nice work, Rockets.

Not: Cuffs and Carts

While UCLA reciever, Terrence Austin, was being strapped to a board and taken from the field for a seriously cringe-worthy head injury, law enforcement and the second paramedic unit were busy elsewhere. Yes, instead of being concerned for the wellfare of this young man, some fans decided to use the break in play to start a fight. A fight that ended with one fan falling over the wall onto the field behind the UCLA bench. Like Austin, this fan was also carted away from the field and at least one other left in handcuffs. Pretty lame.

Behold the Great and Powerful Oz

Hot: David (the giant crusher) X2

Oregon State and Ole Miss did the unthinkable this week. As commentators were proudly proclaiming USC the greatest team ever, the Beavers were preparing to repeat history. Not only did the Beavers triumph over the Trojans at home two years ago, eons ago they toppled the giant when they sat at #1….just as they did Thursday night. Ole Miss, too, repeated history, now having beaten Florida 3 of the last 4 times the teams have met.  

Not: Being declared hot

Last week, I declared USC and Florida the best teams in the country and invited them to the National Championship game. My bad! These teams may yet make it to the big game, but I just made it a lot harder for them. Little did you know that I held so much power! Ignore the lady behind curtain! I’m the great and powerful Oz!

Hot: Game Changing Performance

Despite losing starting QB TJ Yates last week, North Carolina refused to roll over for Miami. On the final drive, Tar Heels 28/Miami 24, it looked certain that the Hurricanes would succesfully put the ball in the end zone and hand North Carolina another painful loss. Instead, on the final play, Robert Marve passed to Kayne Farquharson, a pass certain to clinch the win, and watched in horror as the ball slipped out of Kayne’s hands right into the hands of UNC’s Goddard. The deflated Hurricane fans watched gloomily on as victory was snatched so quickly away. 

Not: Destruction between the Hedges

Georgia’s ability to acrue penalties finally paid off….sort of. The Bulldogs, who are the most penalized team in the SEC, made mistakes at the absolute worst times throughout their home matchup with Alabama. In all, they had 10 penalties to the Crimson Tide’s 2. Despite gaining only ten less yards than Alabama, Georgia was down 31 points at the half and really didn’t have much more to give in the second. And the ever outstanding Knowshon Moreno gained a measly 37 yards. To their credit, though, the Bulldogs are taking the loss like men and remain hopeful for the rest of the season.   

Hot: Not being in the Bottom 10

After winning last week’s pillow fight against Idaho, Utah State managed to jump out of the Bottom 10! This is more rare than a jewel of the calibur of The Heart of the Ocean (think Titanic)! Always remember Aggies, this week you were better than Tennessee (who actually was in the Bottom 10). It doesn’t get much better than that! 

Not: Attacking your program

Sure the Bruins stink, but they couldn’t have felt much worse than when they discovered that the UCLA marketing department published an ad in the Fresno Bee to entice more Bulldog fans to the Rose Bowl for Saturday’s matchup. Selling tickets is cool and having a full statium is great, but selling out your own team to achieve it? That’s not so good. The ad read, “So you can say ‘I was there’,” obviously indicating that the marketing department had little, if any, faith in the Bruins. They might as well have put out an ad reading, “Our team sucks and you’re going to want to see your team prove it.” Ouch!

Hot: Super Smarties

Northwestern: 5-0; Vanderbilt: 4-0; Duke: 3-1, with its first ACC win in 26 tries. Smarties seeing success: priceless. As great as it see to see these teams off to a positive start to the season, it’s definitely NOT hot that Northwestern is not in the rankings. Give the smarties some love!

Not: Fresnobsession

Let’s recap YET AGAIN……Fresno beat a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad Rutgers team; lost to an over-rated Wisconsin AT HOME; barely beat Toledo, who is now 1-3 and lost to FIU; AND scraped by, as their own marketing department will tell you, an awful UCLA who is completely defenseless. And this deserves a ranking why? It’s getting old, voters, it really is.  

HOTerable mentions: Michigan, Houston, Navy, Maryland, Rice, Oregon, Tulsa, Penn State, Oklahoma

NOTerable mentions: Wisconsin, Purdue, Wyoming, the State of Washington, Idaho, Hawaii

Bronco Fever Strikes AGAIN!

Hot: Duck Soup

Everyone….and I mean EVERYONE said that BSU did not have a shot at winning this game. As soon as they did, I knew the Broncos would win. They’ve always done better with a chip on their shoulders! They want you to doubt them; they love it! As much as the win was well-earned, had Oregon’s THIRD STRING QB gotten a concussion a little earlier, the Broncos might not be doing the happy dance this week!

Not: Fresno’s Ranking

How exactly does a team from the WAC who beat what turns out to be an incredibly inadequate Rutgers team, lost to Wisconsin at home, and barely beat TOLEDO in DOUBLE overtime get to stay in the rankings? Seriously voters! there are undefeated teams waiting in the wings! Give up the dream! This year, like every other year, is NOT the bulldogs year to shine. Make room for someone else! 

Hot: NC State wins a legitimate game!

Just when the purple Pirates had everyone convinced that they were invincible, sad little NC State put a stop to their undefeated season. In what should have been a blowout (no offense State fans), the Wolfpack, led by amazing freshman QB Russell Wilson, dusted off their A game and showed the country that they can play ball too. Three cheers for the Wolfpack!

Not: West Virginia

Don’t get me wrong here….I have a fondness for the Mountaineers and truly wanted this to be their season, but like Fresno, it’s just not. Try as they might, they just can’t seem to get it together this season. Were it not for Pat White, they might have gone 3 and out on every possession. And there’s no Pat White on the defensive side of the ball.

Hot: B, B, BYU

Other than the close/controversial win at Washington, BYU has scored at least 40 points in each of their wins (@ Northern Iowa, UCLA, Wyoming). They’ve also held UCLA and Wyoming to the big Zilcho in their last two games. The Cougars are looking pretty unstoppable at the moment. Will Utah have enough to top them in their matchup in November?

Not: Tar Heels lose thier Achilles 

Just when Carolina had a legitimate chance at a thrilling season, their QB and leader, TJ Yates broke his ankle and will be out for the next six weeks. Along with his broken ankle came the disappointing loss against Virginia Tech and a gloomy outlook on the rest of the season. Does anyone know a good Tar Healer who can get things back on track?

Hot: USC vs. Florida: National Championship

My prediction is in. The Trojans and the Gators will face off in THE game of bowl season. USC looks to be freakishly good this season. Even Tebow’s crew looks a little small in the Trojans’ shadow. But are they really that good? Or is their competition just that bad? And is Florida really on a different level? Or has their competition been, well, worth competing against? Whichever turns out to be the case, these teams are off to great starts and will be exciting to watch in January! 

Not: Pillow Fights….or are they?

Saturday’s most-pivotal matchup HAD to be the Bottom 10′s pillow fight: Idaho versus Utah State. Two WAC bottom-feeders waiting and ready for a chance to win a conference game! Idaho may have beaten the mighty Idaho State Bengals, but they were no match for the Aggies! Utah State managed a whopping 42 points to the Vandals’ sad 17. Maybe things are looking up, eh Aggies? Going to topple the giant (BYU) next week?

HOTerable mentions: Northwestern, Missouri, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Texas, Georgia, Georgia Tech, Clemson, Minnesota, Penn State, TCU

The Penalty Nazi: No Celebrating for You; One Year.

Hot: Pirate Power

Two games into the season and ECU is proving that their bowl game victory over BSU was no fluke! There were golf claps all around for the Pirates when they took down VT last weekend, but no one really thought they could top WVU.  Boy were we wrong! The pirates not only won, they destroyed the Mountaineers. Everytime WVU’s defense had a man wrapped up, he magically gained another 10-12 yards before dropping to the field. Looking at the rest of their line up, the Pirates may just run their way into a national championship game!

Not: 100K to Play

Idaho payed Idaho State $100,000+ to get them on their schedule this season. Couldn’t Idaho really spend those dollars on something more valuable? My mom and dad summarized it best…..Dad: “They could have used that money on new jock straps or something.” Mom: “That, or some balls to put in them.” Ouch! Wicked burn from a senior citizen, Vandals! But hey, you gotta get some W’s on record, right?

Hot: Do you want RICE with that?

Rice fans have been waiting a LOOONG time for something to get excited about….and this season may be it! After handing it to June Jones in his debut last week, Rice executed again to get a victory over Memphis on Saturday. It wasn’t the steamroller win of last week, but a last-minute interception, returned for a TD, gave them the 2-0 streak to start the season. The interception wasn’t the only thrilling moment of the game. Just prior, the Owls successfully attempted a 2-point conversion to tie things up at 35. It may have required a little luck, but a win is a win in the end! And this one was a real HOOT for Owl fans!

Not: Oregon State — AGAIN

Like many of their Pac 10 peers before them, Oregon State took a dive in Happy Valley.  After their heart-breaking loss against Stanford last week, the Beavers certainly weren’t hoping for the spectacular trouncing they recieved against the Nittany Lions. Perhaps the Penn State players tapped into the fiery spirit Joepa showed the media when they inquired about his need to retire. Whatever their motivation, they are on a 2-0 roll to start the season……the Beavers, however, fall on the other end of the spectrum.   

Hot: Vandy-tastic

Vandy hasn’t had a winning season since 1982, and hasn’t even been off to a two-win start since 1989….so it is with MUCH ado that Vandy earned the big W over the Gamecocks on Thursday night. What could be better? Well, proving that last season’s win over South Carolina was NOT a fluke after all. As Jared Hawkins put it, “We’re not a blowoff team. We’re going to hit you in the mouth.” Holla. Go Vandy, Go!

Not: Ohio State

Beanie Shmeanie. One players does not turn a #3-ranked team into a might-as-well-have-been-a-loss victor over a sad team like Ohio. Were it not for their FIVE turnovers, Ohio certainly would have picked off the mighty Buckeyes. What’s done is done, though. Brush it off and prepare to celebrate next weekend! USC won’t put up much of a fight! (No…I’m not laughing right now….okay…I am…a lot.)

Hot: Utah

Once Urban Meyer skipped merrily away to Florida after Utah first busted the BCS party, it seemed certain that the Utes were out of the picture for good. But last week it was the Utes who skipped merrily, away from the Big House with a victory over Michigan…a win that afforded them their first ranking in four years. The Utes may still have been somewhat hung over from the high of that victory because they looked a little pathetic in the first half of their game against UNLV. From there, though, the Utes scored 35 unanswered points to get the win and prove they deserve the respect they earned in last week’s game.

Not: Florida’s Win to End Miami Streak

Don’t be fooled by the lopsided score. The majority of Florida’s play against Miami was less than thrilling. In fact, Tebow looked like he couldn’t throw a pass on-target if Urban Meyer paid him! On their first possession, the Gators easily drove 40 yards, after a truly sad Miami punt, to put it in the end zone, but things cooled WAY down after that. Luckily, the Gators were able to heat things back up in the fourth quarter, managing to put an end to a Miami’s six-game winning streak in the match up.

Hot: Iowa Football, NOT its Fans

Maine and FIU are surely not in the upper escelon of the football class structure, but Iowa did their best to make sure they didn’t forget it! Combined, the two only scored 3 points to the 88 points Iowa put up. The only other thing to say about this game is SHAME on you Iowa fans! How dare you boo your back-up quarterback in a blowout??? Not classy. You need to go sit in the corner and think about just how fickle you’ve become. And maybe write out an apology note begging the team to forgive you and take you back.     

Not: Pac 10 Officiating

Throughout their contest on Saturday night, BYU and Washington traded score for score. Midway through the 4th, all were tied at 21. BYU put together a successful drive, finding the end zone, going up 28 – 21, and giving the ball back to the Huskies with 3 minutes left. In response, Jake Locker scrambled his way down the field and finally into the end zone to give his team a chance to tie things up and take the battle into overtime. After scoring, Locker tossed the ball over his shoulder and rushed to jumping, ecstatic teammates to celebrate……uh oh…..out came the dreaded yellow hanky…..Celebration penalty against Washington. Ultimately, this penalty, which backed up the PAT 15 yards, cost the team and the fans the chance at an exciting overtime competition. Those officials need to go take a time out with the Iowa fans…. 

Hot: Giving your Best

The worst loss in Washington State’s history (124 years in all) is Cal’s gain! In his first start, Cal’s Jahvid Best ran for 200 yards, 30 more than the Cougars totaled. Even better (Best…better…get it?), he did it in 14 carries! Best started the game off right with an 80 yard run for a touchdown and continued to embarrass the Pac 10′s worst team for the remainder of the game.

Not: Colorado

After a thrilling in-state rivalary win over Colorado State last weekend, Colorado nearly toppled to the oh-so-sad Eastern Washington Eagles of the Big Sky conference. The Eagles had a solid lead up to the fourth quarter….Who is the dummy who decided games should be 1 hour anyway? If quarters were only 10 minutes, the Eagles would have had high fives and butt slaps all around after the game. Instead, the Buffaloes managed two TDs and a FG to take the lead. But it wasn’t until the last play of the game that they could be certain of victory. The Eagles had a chance to tie things up with a TD pass. Sadly, Colorado intercepted it with 3 seconds left.  This debacle could spell good news for the Mountaineers who face Colorado next.

America’s Next Plus-Size Running Back

Hot: Myron Pryor

ALL of Kentucky’s TDs came from turnovers Saturday against Loserville (err…Louisville), but none was more exciting then the 72-yard fumble returned for a TD by the big burly 300+ lb Myron Pryor. The only guy who even had a CHANCE to run him down was the CENTER. Never a good sign. Louisville’s performance was dismal during the good times, and even worse during the bad, which was certainly satisfying for the Kentucky fans who had to pay more than $70 a ticket to attend the game (compared to $40 for Louisville fans).

Not: ACC, Football that is…

Thank goodness for basketball, because if it were up to football results, the ACC might as well join the WAC. Wake Forest and Maryland were the ONLY ACC teams to beat 1-A….excuse me, Football Championship Division….teams. BC, Duke, Georgia Tech, Miami, and North Carolina managed to beat some less-than-highly touted 1-AA teams….Clemson, Virginia, and NC State lost to Alabama, USC, and South Carolina, badly.  And Virginia Tech, try as they did, could not stave off ECU. Attack the WAC, ACC! Attack the WAC!

Hot: Pirates of the Carolinabean

I know I wasn’t the only person to scratch my head and say “Who in blue blazes is ECU?” before the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl following the 2007 season. But people across the country are starting to take notice of the Pirates who are now on a roll after beating the world’s greatest football team (Boise State) in Hawaii and starting the season with a thrilling victory over Virginia Tech.  Only time will tell if this team is as legit as Johnny Depp’s career. Perhaps even too legit to quit!

Not: Idaho

Arizona generally goes overlooked in the football world, but leave it to Idaho to make them look like USC up against Palo Alto High School. Arizona’s 70 to 0 destruction of the Vandals was the their highest scoring game since flappers were in style! Not only that, this was Arizona’s first shutout in 12 years! And all this in the rain no less! Idaho’s Nathan Enderlie completed a miserable 10 passes. Even if counting his intercepted throws as completions, he STILL wouldn’t make it to 50%. Looks like the Vandals can look forward to a permanent spot in the Bottom 10….AGAIN!  

Hot: Florida

No, not just Tebow, not just the offense, EVERYONE got in on Florida’s scoring frenzy Saturday. The defense scored two TDs, both off interceptions…and special teams scored on a punt return. Perhaps most impressive….Florida did not score at all in the first or fourth quarters. Imagine if they’d kept things fired up for all four quarters! Hawaii on the other hand had 6 turnovers….at least one from each of their quarterbacks….Colt, oh Colt, where-fore-art-thou, oh Colt? 

Not: Oregon State’s final drive

The Beaver’s conference and season opener against Stanford was nothing if not a nail-biter. Down by 8 with two minutes left to play, it looked like the Beavers were surely going to lose. But as luck would have it, Stanford couldn’t move the ball and had to punt it away with a little over a minute and a half left. The Beav’s were ready to make the most of the opportunity. Several well-executed plays later, they found themselves at 3rd and 4 with 16 yards to the goal. Just then, Darrell Catchings made a great catch, running 15 yards toward the end zone. With 44 seconds left on the clock, and a first down secured, Catchings stretched for the end zone….lost the ball….and fumbled it right through the end zone. And in that briefest of moments, the team and fans alike fell from the thrill of victory into the misery of defeat….starting the season on a down note and having to face a 0-1 record when conference play begins.

Hot: UCLA

Despite throwing back-to-back interceptions, Kevin Craft lit things up in the second half to lead UCLA and new head coach Rick Neuheisel to an exciting overtime victory over the supposedly superior Volunteers. It couldn’t hurt that, according to Coach Fulmer, “[Tennessee] made enough mistakes to fill three of four games.”

Not: Fresno’s win over Rutgers

On their first possession, Rutgers made it within 30 yards of the goal line, but failed to score with a missed field goal. On the second, they made it to first and goal….but 4 tries later, still had no points. On the next, they only had 36 yards to drive, but threw an interception immediately. Two possessions later, they made it down to the 4 yard line, again failed to get the TD, and missed another field goal. AND SO….at halftime, the score was all tied at zero, instead of Rutgers 24, Fresno 0. Thus, after a miserable first half, Fresno was able to come out for the second half with a clean slate, and they certainly made the most of it. Thanks for nothing, Scarlet Knights.

Hot: Bowling Green

Props to Bowling Green who managed to ARM PITT with their first home loss to an MAC team in school history (24 games in all). Pitt possessed the ball seven minutes longer than BG, but that was not enough to offset their 4 turnovers. And what’s good for Bowling Green in good for BSU…until September 13, anyway.  

Not: June Jones’ Debut

Hopefully June’s big fat paycheck makes him happy cause there is no way the performance of his new team is doing anything for him. Not only did SMU fall on their face in the season opener, they did so against Rice, who hasn’t scored that many points since 1944….and now have a conference loss under their belt.  Five turnovers and seven penalties were not exactly what the lei-free Jones was hoping for.