Those Uniforms, Those Uniforms, Those Uniforms….Oh and There Was Football Too!

Hot: Bearly Holding On for the Win

Baylor MAY have blown the excellent 24-point lead they had on TCU Friday night, but they managed to pull things together for a thrilling win that reminded college football fans everywhere why they love the game. Robert Griffin III (RG3) was outstanding in the Bears’ season opener. He threw for 359 yards and gave TCU a really hard time with his mobility. The Bears racked up the most yards and points against TCU in 6 years, and gave the Horned Frogs a kick in the junk that more than made up for their deflating loss last season (TCU 40, Baylor 10).

Not: The Emperor’s New Clothes

Actually, the Emperor’s nude statement would be preferable to Maryland’s Monday night apparel. Seriously, Under Armour, that was just mean.

Hot: More Moniz More Problems

Bryant Moniz made a huge statement against the PAC 12’s newest member late Saturday night. Hawaii’s quarterback ran for a career-best 121 yards against Colorado. The team as a whole only covered 163 yards on the ground. Moniz also passed for three touchdowns, and steadily led the Warriors to a solid 34 to 17 victory in their season opener. Way to make the WAC proud, brudah.

Not: Utah Deflate, er, State

Oh, Utah State. You are such a tease. I really thought for once you had the giant upset W in the bag. But noooo, that was just too much to ask, wasn’t it? How could you let Auburn score TWICE in 2 minutes to win the game? HOW!? I mean, I tip my hat to Auburn for remaining composed enough to get the quick scores needed to win, but really this was your fault, Aggies. And underdog lovers everywhere are truly disappointed in you.

Hot: Redemption is spelled B-S-U

Considering that Boise State came into the season with a 0-4 record against SEC teams, and were completely decimated the last time they traveled to Georgia (48-13 loss), plenty of mid-major haters were dubious about the Broncos’ ability to win Saturday. Sucks to be those guys! Six different Broncos scored, and Kellen Moore threw 261 yards and 3 touchdown passes. While Mark May (ick) said “The Bulldogs may look like Tarzan, but they played like Jane against Boise State,” everyone that watched the game knows the Bulldogs played well. They just didn’t have enough to keep up with the Mountain West’s newest member.

Not: The Weather

Come on, weather! What did college football ever do to you? There’s no need to throw a tantrum like you did this weekend. In the Notre Dame/South Florida game, fans had to leave the stadium at the half due to severe weather. During the first delay, the teams were off the field for a little over 2 hours. Later, with a little more than 4 minutes to play, the game was delayed for an additional 45 minutes. In the Michigan/Western Michigan game, play was delayed twice during the third quarter, the stadium was evacuated, and eventually the game was called with a little over a minute left before the fourth quarter. And in the Marshall/WVU game, play was also stopped two times. The game was ultimately called just after the start of the fourth quarter. Personally, I think weather had a terrible attitude this weekend and needs a timeout before week two gets under way.

Hot: Coach’s Change of Heart (if he has one, anyway)

Stephen Garcia’s off-field troubles kept him out of the starting lineup in South Carolina’s opener against ECU. However, after a three-fumble performance by his backup in the first quarter, Spurrier decided to let the troublemaker back on the field. Gamecock fans are eternally grateful to Stevie McGrumpyPants for doing so. With Garcia in charge, the Gamecocks came back from a 17-0 deficit to beat ECU 56 to 37.

Not: Four Turnover Casserole

I sure hope the Ducks weren’t hoping to make up for their National Championship performance in their opener again LSU. Cause, wow. They sure didn’t. Oregon had four turnovers in the game, three of which led to 20 points for LSU. De’Anthony Thomas performed particularly well (or something like that), fumbling on two consecutive touches: a run and a return in the third quarter. On top of their troubles holding onto the ball, the Ducks racked up 12 penalties for 95 yards. And, 2010 Heisman Finalist, LaMichael James, managed only 54 yards, averaging 3 yards per carry. But it’s not all bad news, Ducks fans, their uniforms were spectacular!

Hot: A Lynch Mob in Reeser Stadium

Sacramento State, you know….the FCS team, marched into Reeser Stadium and came away with a huge win for their program (considering they’d lost 10 straight against FBS opponents). And handed the Beavers a huge loss for theirs. At the half, Beaver fans booed their team (down by 11) into the locker room. And I can only imagine that they slashed all the players’ tires after Sac State’s gutsy two-point conversion in overtime to clinch the win.

Not: Same Ole Miss

BYU was awesome at moving the ball against Ole Miss Saturday, at least until they got to the red zone. This led to Ole Miss being up by 13 going into the fourth quarter. Sadly, much like their heroes at Utah State, try as they might, Ole Miss could not hold on for the victory. BYU managed a successful series early in the fourth to pull within 6. Things looked manageable from there, but when BYU recovered a disastrous fumble on what should have been Mississippi’s time-eating final drive, the fat lady starting belting out the Cougar fight song. So, you know, thanks for nothing. See if I ever cheer for you again.